by Harrison Blum
It’s the first day of school. Jimmy is just one student among many; he’s meeting up with friends, finding his classes, putting books in his locker, et cetera. But there’s something special about Jimmy, something that’s making the other students whisper behind his back. Something that’s making him stick out in a less-than-flattering way.
On this very first day of school, Jimmy is wearing a piano tie.

Jimmy might be a great guy once you get to know him (a star athlete, a pro skateboarder, who knows?). But to all the kids who are seeing him for the first time today, he’s always going to be associated with his choice of neckwear. When he runs for class president, they will remember the piano tie. When he asks that girl in English to the homecoming dance, she’s going to remember the piano tie. When he wins the Nobel Prize fifty years from now and his old high school friends get interviewed, they’re going to remember the piano tie.
Your social media presence is sort of like this: it lasts forever, it’s the first impression people get of you, and it can sort of ruin your life if you mess it up badly enough.
Some tragically common ways in which people mess up badly:
Racism/sexism. It’s unlikely to make you any friends, and it’s guaranteed to piss somebody off. Even if you made your Daniel Tosh moment “private”, a friend might find it funny enough to pass along to somebody else.
Party pics/nudity. Social media is like cars: you shouldn’t use it under the influence. Best case, they get you invited to some crazy parties. Worst case, they cost you jobs, girlfriends, friendships, and academic opportunities.
Evidence of law breaking. Firstly, this can actually get you arrested depending on what it is (vandalizing a cop car, distributing heroin, etc.) Secondly, the sorts of people who are going to be impressed by this are probably not going to be very valuable additions to your social network.
Threats/anything with weapons. Just bought a chrome-plated Colt .45? Sweet. Don’t pose with it on your Facebook. Hunting photos can be an exception, but even here you should be careful. And don’t even jokingly threaten anyone; it’s easy to take out of context.
Mental disorders/addictions. It’s been estimated that one in four Americans have a mental disorder, but there’s still an overwhelming stigma attached to it. Whatever it is (anxiety attacks, depression, prescription painkillers, etc.), share it with friends but don’t put it on Facebook.
Mistakes like these can very quickly get you labeled “weird” or “scary” by your peers, and they often have repercussions that go well beyond school (for example, this). It’s helpful to have somebody else routinely looking over your social media; what seems innocuous to you might seem extreme to others. It’s essential to approach social media with the same prudence and care as your wardrobe choices on the first day of school.
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